Recovering mother

13 November 2013,

Well its been two days since I was at the bottom of the motherhood pit. Thank goodness by the end o fthe day, the kids began to calm down, the tears were less frequent and I actually ended up having the best birthday ever. I decided to really concentrate on what I learned in the book I was reading called "Raising the Spirited child". And it started working.

On our way back from a walk in the forest my son began to have a melt down because he dropped his rocks that he had collected on the hike. Even though my head felt like it was full of bees and I couldn't focus all thanks to the sleep deprevation, I somehow managed to focus. I somehow pulled a tactic that I had learned from the book out of my butt because even i fyou had told me what to do, I was too low and too tired to do it. But it came to me out of the blue and it worked.

The tears were all dried up and I was on my way to having a better day. and one by one I started to remember the lessons learned and I was able to gain more control not only on myself but also the kids. It ended up being so much fun and I enjoyed myself.

Looking back, I cant believe how low I was feeling just hours before. It surprised me how just one positive reaction ended up turning around the entire day. I became more relaxed and the kids became more relaxed. I never knew how much my stress and energy effected them, especially my newly labeled "spirited" son. I have to start taking better care of my own well being, God its so hard to do that. I'm suppose to suffer, I a ma mother! No, you have to take care of yourself so your kids are happy and you won't feel like a terrible mother anymore!

Today, two days later, I feel like a recovering mother. I am recovering from fallin into the pit of self doubt and hopelessness. I just want to rest and take it easy but I know that in order to keep the ball rolling I have to keep on with my quest. There is no resting now. I have to keep educating myself and writing a list to remind myself what I need to do to become a better mother.

But right now, I have to take a rest! I have to do it for my kids! Hope it works again!